Just got done with a children’s camp and I think I learned more about how I react under stress and I also learned about the amount of patience that is necessary to shepherd and grow children in the Lord.

I’ve also gained a newfound respect for parents…I don’t know how they do it year in and year out. After 4 days of 7 10 year old boys, it took me 3 days to recover. I was sleeping 8 hours a night, plus taking naps and it took me a while to feel “right” again. (Whenever I tell parents about this, I think they get insanely jealous that as a single guy, I’m able to do this…are you saying as a parent you can’t just sleep 12 hours a day every week to recover from your children? )

After I tell them all the ordeal of dealing with crying kids who want their mommy, have toothaches, bruises and aches, homesickness, pickiness with camp food, they all assume that I wouldn’t do it again. But I learned so much about myself and the amount of patience that i have. It is nowhere near enough. I think it’s a muscle that you have to exercise, although I don’t think I’ll ever attain to a point where I will always be completely patient with kids and dealing with their flawed “kid logic” (which can be really funny at times) and yes, dealing with their hearts and not just dismissing their feelings as irrelevant (yet also teaching them that they don’t have to act on their feelings, something I myself am still learning!)

So I’m signing up again for the next camp. Call me a glutton for punishment, but what better way of preparing to mentor and disciple the youth of Taiwan than doing it in a environment that has a huge support structure to ask questions and learn how to bring kids into an encounter with God so that they will be changed?

Learning how to regularly fast has been hard for me. I love food. I love eating different food, well cooked and inventive foods. I like the preparation of food, it relaxes me…the smell of different spices, textures and flavors of different vegetables and meats, the flame and the presentation of the food on a plate interests me. It touches all 5 senses. Being able to eat and savor a good meal is a pleasure that I treasure.

Fasting takes a sword right into the center of this arena and challenges me with how much I rely upon food. It also makes me hungry (as it should). It is not fun at times and it doesn’t get easier the more you do it. A steak passing underneath your nose tempts you greatly whether this is the first time or the 1000th time you are fasting. (or tofu for your vegetarians out there)

It increases hunger not just physically, but something connects my spiritual hunger with my physical hunger. When you are hungry, there are waves where the hunger is especially intense, and other times when it seems like a distant memory and it is easy to forget that you are fasting. So it seems sometimes that my spiritual hunger ebbs and flows. at times, the longing is so intense that I wonder how I could ever go without a taste of the Lord. Other times, I go for weeks without having a real spiritual hunger.

It is during these times of little spiritual hunger that I fast. Fasting to me is a way to increase my spiritual appetite. It’s a removal of things that will satiate the longings in my heart in a less than godly way, blunting my spiritual hunger for more of Him. Hunger is good. Hunger indicates lack of something essential in you and to fill it up with things that are of this world blunts the righteous hunger for the Lord.

If you are going to fast, please check with a doctor or a qualified person about whether you should or shouldn’t fast. if you have dietary needs, or are a young child, you probably shouldn’t fast from food…

It’s been a while. I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth it seems, but I hope you have been able to keep up to date on twitter and facebook! It seems that everytime I have thought to write down, I feel like I have to write a huge blog entry and I put it off and off until next thing you know, it’s been 2 months since I’ve blogged! sorry.

I am committing myself to writing more often and shorter blog posts to better serve in updating you on the journey, and saving the big updates for the monthly newsletter….

So. Jesus Christ. Attributes. The First and the Last. What does this mean?

As I come into the 3rd month of worship leading and singing all about jesus, conventional wisdom would say that we’ve spent too much time on the subject and we should be thinking about more things than just revelation 1 and how it describes Jesus. But as we go from week to week, month to month, I am finding that there is MORE everytime I meditate and dwell upon the attributes of Jesus.

So as I was doing a study on what does it means when Jesus says the “First and the Last”…I found a great little summation of it by Richard of St. Victor…

“I am the first and the last. the First by creation, the Last by retribution: the First, because before Me there was no God formed; the Last, because after Me there shall be no other: the First, because from Me are all things; the Last, because to Me all things return; from me the beginning, to me the end. First, because I am the cause of origin; last, because I am the judge and the end”

And that’s it. There isn’t anything beyond Jesus. You could ask the question, “is there anything outside of God?” And the answer is “no”. There is no “What if” or “consider the possibility”. Because if Jesus is the First and the Last then there can’t be anything before the first, cause that’s the definition. But think about that. To quote Highlander, “There can be only one” at the end of time.

Everything was made by Jesus and Everything will come back to Jesus. That’s the plan and that’s the end of the story.

Fear is the most contagious disease. It can spread not only through the physical, but through spoken words, sounds, sights or just a look things It doesn’t need to physically touch you, it doesn’t need to force you, it doesn’t need to say anything to take up residence in your heart. it’s nature is to spread. It desires to spread. It will infect you if you let it. But fear does not define you, because perfect love casts out fear.

Will you let it? Will you let your fear define you, take residence and put down roots to the point where to remove it would be like removing your close friend that hurts you but is so familiar that in some twisted way is comforting?

Been really thinking about fear lately and how it is both so powerful and binding to us. And that isn’t what the Lord intended, is it? Not for me. Not for you.

What do you think?

(BTW, the spider in the picture is from Taiwan. It actually created a web between TWO TELEPHONE POLES. It’s that big. Bird eaters from what I remember)

“and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood.”

The first chapter of Revelation has a TON of stuff about Jesus, so for the next couple of posts, we’ll be exploring the different aspects of Christ in the ONE VERSE.

Sidenote: how crazy is it to spend all this time on one verse? I always thought that spending a hour contemplating a verse was pretty good and I pretty much got what I could out of that verse. I mean how much meaning can there be in one verse? maybe 2-3 points? Yet here I am going through one verse for WEEKS and still getting more and more understanding about Jesus through that. At this rate I’ll never finish!

“Jesus Christ the faithful witness”

What does it mean to be a witness? What does it mean for Jesus to be the Faithful Witness? As I have pondered on this, I’ve been smacked in the face with what it means to be faithful.

Jesus is ever being a witness. A witness to what? To the Father. Jesus is the perfect picture of the unseen God. He is the PERFECT picture. Not just in what He looks like, but what He feels, what He is burdened with, how His heart breaks, how He delights. Every action, every word, everything that Jesus did was showing us more about the Father.

How faithful Jesus is in being a witness! Later on it says in Revelation that He is Faithful and True. What Jesus shows us about the Father is completely accurate. It is completely true. There is no deviation. if we would just look, just look, we would know the Father in a deeper way than we ever imagined.

It means that Jesus hasn’t stopped witnessing about the Father. Through the Living Word Jesus speaks to us about the Father. If we would know Him, then we would know the Father. That even today He is speaking to us right now about the Father and we just need to listen.

Faithful means Jesus never stops testifying. Nothing can stop him from testifying and declaring the Father’s thoughts, motives and feelings. He does not hesitate. He does not falter. He does not stutter. He speaks clearly. Accurately. Succinctly. Boldy. Each word was planned long past. Each moment planned for thousands of years. Executed perfectly. Jesus proclaimed at the right time and He is not slow or dull in His words. He doesn’t waste words, actions or deeds. Everything matters. EVERYTHING MATTERS. When faced with the possibility of death, He faithfully continued to showed the Father to us. He didn’t even flinch!

There are a ton of points in the above paragraph. We could go through the implications for a while, (every movement was planned? every word was planned out? no improvisation needed? There was no exaggeration or minimization in the witness of the Father? How is that possible? Is that really true? That every action, word, deed conveys something about the Father? Every place, thing described in the Bible matters and reveals something about the Father?) but I wanted to bring your attention to the fact that even when standing before the powerful Pontius Pilate that Jesus STILL boldly declares the witness of the Father.

        “Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Jn 18:37

        “I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession,” 1 Timothy 6:13

Wow. THIS was Jesus’ ministry! To bear witness to the truth. In that witness is the salvation of Man.

Evidently He also had a reputation for speaking truthfully

“And they sent their disciples to him, along with the Herodians, saying, ‘Teacher, we know that you are true and teach the way of God truthfully, and you do not care about anyone’s opinion, for you are not swayed by appearances.” (Mt 22:16).

(Yes, I realize that this is taken from the Pharisees who were trying to entrap Jesus, but at the same time, don’t you think there would have been truth in their statement? You wouldn’t say anything untrue because you wanted to entrap Jesus on the tax issue, wouldn’t you? That’s my take on it.)

Even at such a high cost, Jesus wasn’t going to stop! “Like a sheep led to slaughter”, he faithfully expressed the Father to us. Even in the Garden of Gethsemane, that was still displaying the full humanity AND the full deity of Christ and expresses to us the depth of the Father’s Love for us. It wasn’t a “delaying” of the death on the cross. Everything happened at the right time, the right place, the right way.

Faithful Witness indeed.

And in the midst of this, in the midst of understanding what it means that Jesus is the Faithful Witness, I start to think about us. Have I been a faithful witness, for that is what we have been called to right? Do I hesitate? Have I been a faithful witness? Even when the cost is high? I know I’m supposed to be a witness. It says so in Isaiah 43:10

“You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “and my servant whom I have chosen, that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor shall there be any after me.”

We are the ones who are His witnesses. He’s done the work. We just need to be a witness to it. To what the Lord has done for us and faithfully declaring the One True God!

What a challenge! I know I feel like it’s a insurmountable task. But more than that, I’m so thankful for the PERFECT picture that Jesus has given me about the Father. I’ll be gazing upon the beauty of Jesus, learning more and more about the Father as I gaze upon Him! (2 Cor 3:18)

Thoughts?

I am sitting here in the prayer meeting and I’m being apprehended with the truth of God’s love, but also the depth of my love. It was quite the turnaround, because I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how much I love Him.

It’s hard for me to love. It’s honestly hard for me to care for people deeply. There has always been so much pain and wounds associated with caring and loving that my heart is usually under lock and key as a means of protection. If it weren’t for the power of God supernaturally putting a love and burden for Taiwan, I’m not sure that would be on the path I am on (on second thought that is probably the best reason I’m where I’m at right now.)

At times I question my own love for God, for a lot of times I think I really don’t show it or that I must not because I always sin and I always fall short.

But I do. I love Him. Tonight He showed me.

As I am waiting upon the Lord, He keeps asking me the question:

“do you love me more?”

Strange question.

“yes I love You Lord. I’ve said this a thousand times”

“do you love me more?”

“yes, I love You more than my career.”

“do you love me more?”

“yes, I love You more than my friends.”

On and on it went. Each time, the Lord started to ask about the deep dreams and desires of my heart. Each time there was more wrestling. More pain. But each time there was more life. My heart came alive once again.

The Lord was asking this question to show me the depths of MY love for Him. He was saying, “Do you see the love you have for Me? It is not weak. It is not ineffectual. Your love moves My Heart. Your love is more powerful than you know. It is deeper than you know.”

What a restoration! I now understand John 21 when Jesus speaks to Peter in a deeper and personal way. How many times do we sit and say, “I have failed, how could I be called a lover of God? I’m so weak, I face defeat more than I claim victory. How am I worthy at all?”

In the cacophany of accusations, voices and thoughts, He cuts through it all by saying, “I have eyes like flames of fire that can pierce the heart and see the true intentions and motivations. I see your love for me. I see it. I’m going to show you.”

When your heart hears these words of truth, it comes alive. You are so reassured in that love. Isn’t that what a good Father does? When a son/daughter comes to their Dad, that their Dad speaks words of truth of who they are and reaffirms them with His love and breaks down the lies that they believe?

So this was the early Valentine’s day present for me. Like a good Father He gives GOOD gifts to His children.

I pray that that the Father will speak words of truth over you. We all need to hear those words, don’t we?

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been dwelling upon Jesus. A good subject to dwell upon if there ever was one, and one can hardly go wrong by contemplating the central figure of Christianity.

As I start to dwell more and more upon the attributes and characters of Jesus Christ, I find that in reality, I don’t know too much about Him at all. I know of His actions, what He did for us, that He loved us to die on the cross for us, but when it comes down to it, do I really know Him?

A couple of years ago, a audio excerpt came out that spoke about Jesus. At the end of each sentence, the preacher said, “Do you know Him?” And I thought I did. I had been raised up in the church, gone to countless sunday school lessons, listened to many sermons on Jesus, but when I started on this path of dwelling upon the actual character of Jesus, I realized that I didn’t know Him.

Enter the Book of Revelation. Actually the title of the book is “The Revelation of Jesus Christ”. I had, like most people, thought that “Revelation” meant the revelation of the end times. The book does talk about the end times certainly, but there is a chapter that speaks of Jesus in so many ways that I wonder how I could have missed it. John, the author of Revelation doesn’t start into talking about the seven churches, or the end times. John, the disciple that Jesus loved, talked about Jesus. Extensively.

So as I go through this path of learning more about Jesus and how He described Himself, I find that any journey is always made more delightful when taking it with someone. So I hope that this series will guide you and encourage you to spend some time to explore your own side trails and paths. After all, the delight is in the discovery and I know in everyone of us there is a longing to discover.